?

Log in

No account? Create an account
entries friends calendar profile My Website Previous Previous Next Next
Every bad thing... - Mark Atwood
fallenpegasus
fallenpegasus
Every bad thing...
Every bad thing that has ever happened to me has, in retrospect, after enough time, turned out to have been for my benefit, or at the very least, made me more of what I like about myself.

I know that I am extremely lucky in this manner.
I also know that this streak of luck could end right now.
And I know that most people have terrible things happen to them that never result in anything more than misery.
I also know that memory is frail and is too easily rewritten.
I know that the human mind is particularly bad at accurately remembering pain and misfortune.
I know that it's not actually possible to accurately know "what might have been".
I also know that when I was going though bad times, if most anyone had told me then "you will be glad this happened", I would have reacted with nothing but hatred and rage.

Still, right now, I am grateful, both for all my blessings, and for all my past misfortunes.

#thanksgiving

This entry was originally posted at http://fallenpegasus.dreamwidth.org/853897.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

Current Location: Ada's Technical Books & Cafe; Seattle WA
Current Mood: grateful grateful
Current Music: Once Upon Love by Willian Joseph

1 comment or Leave a comment
Comments
cinema_babe From: cinema_babe Date: November 24th, 2016 03:38 am (UTC) (Link)
This is one of the most tenderly written Thanksgiving messages I've read in a very long time. Thank you so very much for publishing this.


I also know that when I was going though bad times, if most anyone had told me then "you will be glad this happened", I would have reacted with nothing but hatred and rage

This had so much resonance with me. When I was about 26 I was coming out off of a heartbreak so painful I ended up in therapy. One day I was fretting about my fear that no one would ever love me again (did I mention I was only 26?). My therapist said to me, "well nothing is guaranteed, what happens if you never have another romantic relationship in your life again. Think about it and we'll discuss it next week". For about a month I was full of that rage and hatred over the idea that something like that could happen to me.

In the end, though, it was one of the most grounding thought exercises I ever went through. It took almost all of the drama out of my love life because I realized that it was ok and I would be ok if I didn't have a partner. Relationships became an enhancement to my life, not a goal.

Sorry about the ramble, what you wrote touched me very deeply. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
1 comment or Leave a comment