The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known. Viruses you suffer from:
Linux Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
USA Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]
Junkfood Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
Free BSD The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
Gaming Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.
Sci-fi Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
Religion Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
8-Bit Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.
UNIX Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.
Discordia Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.
vi Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.
Hippyism Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
Conspiracy Theory Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.
Environmentalism Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
Macintosh Use a mouse with more than one button.
Viruses you might suffer from:
Pokemon (60%) Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!
Japan (60%) Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.
Politics (95%) Stop caring!
Brand Names (80%) Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
X11 (60%) I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.
Computer Games (90%) Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.