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Mark Atwood
"How many piles of crap are there in a buttload?"
My friend solomoning and his friend Moc once worked out a system of units that related "piles of shit" upto full "buttloads". He wrote it down for me a few weeks ago. With his permission, here it is for the world to enjoy.

Units of Junk
10pieces of shit=1pile of crap
10piles of crap=1pile of shit
10piles of shit=1crock of shit
10crocks of shit=1buttload
10buttloads=1herkin buttload
10herkin buttloads=1fuckton


14 comments or Leave a comment
docorion From: docorion Date: July 6th, 2006 06:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Conveniently, this system is nicely extensible:

10 fucktons = 1 metric fuckton
100 metric fucktons = 1 boatload of shit
fallenpegasus From: fallenpegasus Date: July 6th, 2006 07:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think it works better as "10 fucktons = 1 load of crap" (loading implying a shipping carton), and then "1000 loads of crap = 1 boatload of shit", for a thousand standard shipping cartons on a barge.
From: pir Date: July 6th, 2006 06:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's common in my friends circles to refer to imperial buttloads and metric buttloads. I'm unclear what the conversion is, though :)
jenkitty From: jenkitty Date: July 6th, 2006 06:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
I thought it was 2.2 times a standard buttload.
From: pir Date: July 6th, 2006 07:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ah, but is an American buttload different from an Imperial buttload (the American measures are usually smaller)?

Only the Americans would use a system similar, but different, from everywhere else that uses it, hang onto it long after the rest of the world (apart from one small country in Africa with about 30 people in it) have abandoned it and have the gall to call it "Standard".

*duck, run & hide*

[particularly as an ex US resident I'm quite aware that the US system is different from Imperial because Imperial was standardised later than usage started in North America but the rest of it still stands at a completely non-serious level ;]
fallenpegasus From: fallenpegasus Date: July 6th, 2006 08:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
The same is true of the accent, too. The way we speak is the way it was spoken, and then it was you guys over there that changed... :D
From: pir Date: July 6th, 2006 08:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
See, this is what happens when you drop the support contracts and your maintainance expires. You don't keep getting the updates!
elfs From: elfs Date: July 7th, 2006 12:55 am (UTC) (Link)
I would fully expect the American buttload to be larger than the English buttload.
fallenpegasus From: fallenpegasus Date: July 6th, 2006 07:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's "imperial arseloads" vs "metric buttloads", IIRC.
mothball_07 From: mothball_07 Date: July 6th, 2006 06:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
METRIC? Well THAT's a load of crap! [notably missing...must be the Queen's own imperial system) ;)
cflute From: cflute Date: July 6th, 2006 07:02 pm (UTC) (Link)

free dissociation

Q. Which is worth more, Dolly Parton's boobs, or the Queen's douche bag?

A: The latter - a royal flush always beats even the biggest pair you ever saw.
dr_nebula From: dr_nebula Date: July 6th, 2006 08:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ahh, yes...'tis refreshing (in a sense) to find another man of science. I too, have though along these lines - though not to the same extent:


paraventur From: paraventur Date: July 7th, 2006 01:07 am (UTC) (Link)
well, from experience, I do know that a buttload of arrows = 120.
From: neocuriosity Date: July 8th, 2006 02:31 am (UTC) (Link)
and a nautical fuckton = 1.15 fucktons
14 comments or Leave a comment