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Mark Atwood
Violent Fantasies of Retribution against JavaScript programming
There are some technologies who's designers, in a more just world, would be beat with a tire iron until their joints were shattered, and then thrown alive into a bonfire. These include the underlying design of SNMP, the design and details of Asynchronous Transfer Mode, all parts of the OSI specification, especially anything to do with X.500, the theory and specification of WAP, the theory and specification of CableHome, but absolutely most of all...


I hate JavaScript. I hate the poor design of the language. I hate the poor specification of the language. I hate the fact that none of the implementations really match the specification. I hate the bugs in the implementations. I hate all of the implementations. I hate the model. It's just a poorly done Yet Another embedded scripting language. TCL already existed, was already debugged, already had people who knew it, and as annoying as TCL may be, everything that JavaScript can do, TCL does better. I hate the name "JavaScript". I hate the intentionally deceptive marketing towards microcephalic executives implicit in it's origin and naming. I hate that it's the prime enabling technology of evil web sites, of obtrusive web ads, such as popovers, popunders, and flypaper sites. And I hate the vast majority of the programmers who use it, especially the ones who both ignorantly or willfully use it to make web sites browser and OS specific.

One of my tasks today has been to explore and configure Wireless Bridges. These little dohickys are a good idea, on paper. If you have a 802.11 WLAN running, you take one of these little boxes, configure it a bit, plug one end into a PC, network aware STB, internet aware gaming console, network printer, whatever, and the device goes "on the net". A great idea, except that the makers of these boxes want too much money for them, and they are physically too large, especially when you take one apart, it's mostly empty space inside.

Anyway, there is also the problem that all 3 big names in this market have FUCKED THEM UP.

The Linksys WET11 would crash and reset about 3 times a day, and about one time out of 3, would wedge itself so bad it needs a power cycle, and eventually wedged itself so bad that even a factory-reset wouldn't bring it back. Scratch Linksys.

The SMC EZConnect I've got, the webserver running on it won't respond. I can ping the box, I can get basic SNMP responses out of it, according to SNMP, there is something listening on port 80, but TCP connections to that port just hang and die. Scratch SMC.

And now the D-Link DWL-810+. It reset, can be pinged, and the webserver on it will talk back to me. However, the configuration webapp on that web server is very very JavaShit based, and will make nice only with BillyShit Internyet Exploiter 5. Funny, I don't seem to have a copy of that on my Linux laptop. And I'm not going to sacrifice my windows workstation's network configuration to this project. (I may hate windows, but I do need to use Outlook for corporate email and calendering, and messing with that boxes is Not An Option.)

So there's a JavaScript programmer at D-Link who really needs to have his hands fed into a factory breadslicer press for doing this to me.

Current Mood: angry angry

1 comment or Leave a comment
elfs From: elfs Date: March 14th, 2003 03:31 pm (UTC) (Link)

As poor as the language is...

Cross-browser issues are not the fault of the language. They're the fault of the W3C, which had its head up its ass for four friggin' years trying to write the XHTML DOM specification while Nyetscape and Exploder went completely ad-hoc with both the event model and their internal document object models.

Gecko and IE6, blissfully, both follow the W3C DOM model close enough that 99% of everything works well cross-browser between them.

Sadly, this does not help you at the moment.

In a just world, we would all write in Python.

Or we would all be running on Shaper.
1 comment or Leave a comment