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Mark Atwood
fallenpegasus
fallenpegasus
Gym. Back, Shoulders, Triceps
It should have been a Legs day, but, heavy leg work is still doctor no-go. So we did Back.

Pullup & dip. Tricep cable pulldown (new weight record) & standing dumbbell shoulder raise. Low back raise & free seated dumbbell shoulder press. Kneeling dumbbell row. Machine pullover. Hammer frame shoulder row (again, new weight record). Machine pullover (and again, new weight record). Finished off with ball plank. (Ouch).


Some musings on self image.

As I was leaving the gym, another guy there struck up a conversation, asking me what I thought of my trainer, and complementing me on how much trimmer I've gotten as the months have passed.

Yesterday, a coworker stopped me in the break room, with a "Have you been working out? Your arms and shoulders are bigger, and your shirts are tighter."

A few weeks ago, a soccer mom type in a minivan at the gym parking lot stopped me to complement me on my hard work and how it's been paying off.

This feels extremely weird. I really can't find it in myself to actually *believe* these complements, even tho they are coming from unknown strangers.


When I look at myself in a mirror with my regular clothes on, I literally CAN NOT what they are seeing, I can't see any difference at all. (I can see some differences with my shirt off, or wearing my tight leather top, but not really anything big or extreme.)

I'm caused to think of a drawing I saw once, of a person with anorexia, looking at herself in the mirror. Her actual self was bone thin, but the mirror image she was seeing was obese.

Am I suffering from the same sort of mental blindness?
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Comments
memegarden From: memegarden Date: April 30th, 2004 09:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Have you tried looking at a photo of yourself? It can create a little more perspective than a live mirror image.
fallenpegasus From: fallenpegasus Date: April 30th, 2004 09:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've actually been shooting fullbody front/side/side/back photos every few months since I started, just to map the progression. Maybe I should animate them or something...
memegarden From: memegarden Date: April 30th, 2004 09:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Great idea! I was going to say that it would be good if you had photos to compare, but it seemed unhelpful to say if you didn't.

I read about a man who took a photo I think it was once a week of his daughter from babyhood into adolescence when I believe he stopped at her request. I haven't seen the animation.
simonb From: simonb Date: May 1st, 2004 05:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
IME I've found that even a photo can lie. I can look at a photo and see one thing and have other people think something else. A good example is this photo where the red line is the actual line of my torso and the blue line is where I saw the edge of my torso.
helix90 From: helix90 Date: April 30th, 2004 09:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
Why, yes, you are. I know because I suffer from it as well.
It's common for our internal self-image to be fairly static while our external is changing.

That and the fact that you are working out more, and carrying your self better, which means the presentation as well as the package are improved. This leads to more compliments than expected.

Oh, and we are, after all, our own harshest critics.

--helix90
intrepid_reason From: intrepid_reason Date: April 30th, 2004 09:26 pm (UTC) (Link)

Someone who knows....

As someone who knows and has seen over the past 5 motnhs, yes there is a marked (oooh bad pun) difference. You Are turning into a hottie, and your tight shirt isn't even tight anymore. Start saving , because I am taking you shopping soon hun!
L.
elfs From: elfs Date: April 30th, 2004 09:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
Okay, maybe it's because I see you two or three times a month, so the small gradual changes aren't registering as much as they would on someone who hasn't seen you in months, but... I don't see it. Maybe it's my shoddy memory for faces and things-- I don't recall you being anything more than tall and reasonably thin.

Of course, with summer coming on you'll probably be wearing tighter T's and tank-tops, and maybe then I'll notice.
simonb From: simonb Date: May 1st, 2004 05:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
I suffer from this as well. I know that my body is getting smaller since I'm needing to get smaller jeans and some of my larger t-shirts are rather tent like on me.

However even today I found myself looking in the mirror and thinking I was fat.

I've found that most people have their own view of themselves and the view of them that everyone else has (which will vary on the viewer naturally). Most of the people I know seem to have a far more negative view of their body than the people around them have.

I've also found that you mental view of your body definately lags behind its physical state; I still think of myself as I've not lost all of the weight I have done.
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