Mark Atwood (fallenpegasus) wrote,
Mark Atwood

Gym. Back, Shoulders, Triceps

It should have been a Legs day, but, heavy leg work is still doctor no-go. So we did Back.

Pullup & dip. Tricep cable pulldown (new weight record) & standing dumbbell shoulder raise. Low back raise & free seated dumbbell shoulder press. Kneeling dumbbell row. Machine pullover. Hammer frame shoulder row (again, new weight record). Machine pullover (and again, new weight record). Finished off with ball plank. (Ouch).

Some musings on self image.

As I was leaving the gym, another guy there struck up a conversation, asking me what I thought of my trainer, and complementing me on how much trimmer I've gotten as the months have passed.

Yesterday, a coworker stopped me in the break room, with a "Have you been working out? Your arms and shoulders are bigger, and your shirts are tighter."

A few weeks ago, a soccer mom type in a minivan at the gym parking lot stopped me to complement me on my hard work and how it's been paying off.

This feels extremely weird. I really can't find it in myself to actually *believe* these complements, even tho they are coming from unknown strangers.

When I look at myself in a mirror with my regular clothes on, I literally CAN NOT what they are seeing, I can't see any difference at all. (I can see some differences with my shirt off, or wearing my tight leather top, but not really anything big or extreme.)

I'm caused to think of a drawing I saw once, of a person with anorexia, looking at herself in the mirror. Her actual self was bone thin, but the mirror image she was seeing was obese.

Am I suffering from the same sort of mental blindness?

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